Why Having A Toddler Is Like Being At A Frat Party
10. There are half-full, brightly-colored plastic cups on the floor in every room. Three are in the bathtub.
9. There's always that one girl, bawling her eyes out in a corner.
8. It's best not to assume that the person closest to you has any control over their digestive function.
7. You sneak off to the bathroom knowing that as soon as you sit down, someone's going to start banging on the door.
6. Probably 80% of the stains on the furniture contain DNA.
5. You've got someone in your face at 3 a.m. looking for a drink.
4. There's definitely going to be a fight.
3. You're not sure whether anything you're doing is right, you just hope it won't get you arrested.
2. There are crumpled-up underpants everywhere.
1. You wake up wondering exactly how and when the person in bed with you got there.
There were also some funny additions in the comment section! Jewels like: -At least one person is lying on the floor, either face up or face down, singing at the top of their lungs. -Your one goal is to get someone in bed and, when you're finally successful, you're so tired all you want to do is go to sleep. -All around you there is babbling and drooling, and at some point, someone will be drinking from the dog's bowl. -Every time you turn around someone has taken off another article of clothing. -There is always someone coming out of the closet wearing a boa and plastic heels. -Someone is telling jokes that don't make sense and everyone is laughing hysterically anyway. -You can't understand anything anyone is actually saying so you interpret wild gestures and intensity of screaming. -If you sit down, chances are that someone will try to sit on your lap. -There's always that one person who's just begging to be picked up.
In other news, I recently went to the gym for the first time since we lived in Georgia. It's always a little awkward, your first time back in the gym if it's been a while, and it's even worse when it's a new gym. When I have not been to the gym for a while I can't for the life of me remember, even ball park figure, what weight I have been lifting on machines or free weights so half the time I don't put on enough weight and end up stepping it up little by little and feeling kind silly or I put on way too much and can't even budge the darn thing with is even worse because inevitably someone happens to be looking my way and gives me that "you seriously thought you could lift that?" look! And being that it's a new gym, I can't find the machines I want and end up wandering around after using each machine looking for the next one I want and there is always that one guy who thinks the reason I am walking past him for the billionth time is I am checking him out and not that I am hopelessly lost twin mama just trying to look descent in a bath suit come summer!
That's all I got for now. Besides, I am much too sore from thinking I could work out like I did back in the day to type too much more!
Adios from AZ :)
1 comment:
Hey Lindsey!
just refound your blog! Hope all is well. Autumn and I are up in AK now days. Check out what we're up to (www.cjandautumnmiller.com)! Glad to see you are well! Enjoy some tea time in memory of the LeTu days!
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