Someone catch that dog!

Today was particularly crazy. At one point I was carrying Austin in one arm and Lanna in the other arm and heading out to the car, all of a sudden our dog, Chaos, comes sprinting past me and out into the great outdoors. I could almost hear him yell "FREEDOM" as he ran past. The plan was to go to Costco, but I did not know if I should leave with Chaos loose, but it's not like I could chase him down with two kids in my arms. Heck, I can't chase him down without kids in my arms. I put the kids in the pack n play that I keep in the garage and went to investigate. It was obvious he was in a playful mood, he would dart pass me just daring me to try and catch him. After a while of playing this game I had an idea. I put the kids in their car seats and then opened the door for him to jump in like he got to go. He jumped in and was cornered. I grabbed him and drug him back into the house and off to Costco we went. Crazy pit bull 0, mommy 1. I think it's the only point I got all day though!

I miss my husband.

I miss my husband. I am sick of checking my email every 10 minutes hoping to hear anything from him. I hate waking up at night in a cold lonely bed. I hate putting the twins to bed every night by myself. I am sick of faking a smile and pretending to be strong. I hate that I don't have the energy to be the mom the twins need but I need to get away from them and can't. I hate that I have forgotten how it feels to be wrapped in his arms. I have had it with the time zone difference. I can't stand the major delay on the phones. I hate trying to be mom and dad all the time. I am tired of trying to push the "what ifs" out of my head all the time. I hate not feeling like I am complete. I miss my husband and I want him home.

Military Spouse Appreciation Day

Yesterday (May 8, 2009) was Military Spouse Appreciation Day. Yesterday was not a good day for me, I can't say I felt appreciated, but I did read a poem that made me cry. Here it is:

A Day for You, the Military Spouse
by Sara Horn

A day where no uniforms need mending or patches sewn on;
A day where nothing breaks down when you are all alone;
A day when children listen and there are no tears to dry;
A day where there are no questions and you don't have to answer why;
This is the day I wish for you, the Military Spouse.

A day filled with peace and love and solidarity
A day where a phone call is just the start of the great day you'll see
A day when you realize that what you do has fantastic enormous worth
A day where for the first time in months you can breathe without the hurt
This is the day I wish for you, The Military Spouse

A day that's 24 hours closer to your loved one coming home
A day for webcams and Skype and soft I love you's before dawn
A day where there are no silly arguments, just constant mutual grace
A day filled with blue skies, happiness and faith.
This is the day I wish for you, The Military Spouse


If you know a military spouse, especially with their other half deployed, give them a hug, I guarantee they need it.