He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland

There are so many thoughts swirling around in my head right now, I am not even sure where to start.

It has been almost 3 months since my father went to be with our heavenly father.  And while at the time, I cried and knew he was gone, the effects set in much more slowly.  Yesterday I was watching Austin and Lanna play and realized they would never really know who my dad was.  I never really knew my mother's father either, and while I have not had to shell out hundreds of dollars on therapy because of it, somehow I know I missed out on something good.  The stories of my quick-witted, hard working grandpa always bring a smile.  Like me, my kids will miss out on something amazing.  I had one of the most amazing men as a father.  You probably won't find his name in any history books, but if you were lucky enough to cross paths with this man during you time on earth, I have no doubt you were blessed.  At my fathers memorial service I was blessed to hear a few stories about him that I did not know and a few more good ones that will forever warm my heart.  Growing up in Los Alamos, NM I did not really grasp what an accomplishment it was to have your Masters degree and how much more of an accomplishment it was to have your PhD.  My father had his PhD in Nuclear Engineering.  I can remember whining to him one time when he was packing for a trip to Russia.  I laid on my parents bed and watched him pack.  I asked him if he was going because he was the smartest one about nuclear stuff and he told me, no there are 3 of us.  At the time it did not register, but now I know, out of everyone in the US, Britain and who knows what other countries, my father and 3 other people were selected to go.  How good do you have to be at your job to be one of the top 4 in the world at it?  I am pretty sure I will never know the answer to that.  I can't tell you how often I would complain about my dad's business trips.  I did not know who Sectary of Defense, Casper Weinberger was and did not really care, and my father, knowing this would hop on the next available flight at some ridiculous hours so he could be home to be with my brother and I as much as possible.  I later found out he turned down multiple jobs at the Pentagon and various other places in Washington to allow my brother and I a stable home life.  He served his country in an area that did not often get a lot of press, but keep you and I safe none the less.  But more than just being a genius, my father was a giving man.  He loaned out money he knew he would not get back, nor did he want back.  He gave his time wherever he could.  Anything that was his, everyone knew they could use and borrow.  Many people completed their own home projects using our workshop and my dads tools.  I never doubted he loved me.  He managed to make almost all of mine and Devin's school plays, sports games, and other activities, and let me tell you, that would have been tough if you were not also saving the world from nuclear disaster!  He also had a deep passion for his God.  He lead many Sunday school classes and served in many positions at our church.  I always tell everyone that if I can be half as patient with my kids growing up as he was with me, my kids will be truly bless.  I then turn to my kids and tell them not to hold their breathes on that one! ;) 

There is so much more I could say about my father, but listing of the important people who would seek out his advice, the way money apparently "stuck to him" when he walked the halls of Washington, the people he helped out or advances he made for the kingdom of God will never give you an accurate picture of the father he was to me.  So instead, I will just pray that in your lifetime you will be blessed enough to meet a man half as good as my dad, because believe me that alone will bless your socks off!